Thinking to Quit Smoking? Don’t!
I’ve had an Uzi pointed at me once upon a time. I have been beaten up by the bodyguards of a Serbian warlord. I have served as a human shield for war refugees in Central America. I have endured below freezing temperatures in the Saharan desert, snowstorms in the forests of Sweden, and have even survived the vortex of death in the Pacific Ocean.
But turning my back on tobacco might just be the death of me.
Today marks the tenth day since I committed the blunder of deciding to stop smoking altogether. Truth is, I can’t even recall why I made such a rash decision. There was no moment of enlightenment, no epiphany. It was just an ordinary day in this life that I’m trying to live like an ordinary person.
Had I known what this lapse of rational thought would entail, I would have just kept right on rolling that paper.
Phase 1: Hacking Cough
Apparently, when you puff all that stress-relieving, high-inducing smoke you paralyze the tiny hairs in your lungs that act as your body’s cleaners so they can’t sweep that cancer-laden foreign matter out of your system. When I stopped smoking, the brooms, the brushes, and even the mops, woke up from their long slumber and went to work right away.
Seven days later they are still hard at it, making up for all the years that I made them live in squalor and disease. They even sent back out all the stuff that I had given them in happier times. They neatly wrapped the grayish-green packages in a gooey substance, too.
Phase 2: Fever
As if wheezing and panting were not enough, I had to catch a fever as well. All day and all night I would alternate between hot and cold, the sweats and the shakes. This is turning into a living nightmare.
Phase 3: Cold
Ok, a child with a runny nose is cute. A 2-meter high viking type having the sniffles is just plain ridiculous. This big brute of a man is reduced to a red-nosed weakling with a faulty immune system.
I can’t wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me.
Why Enjoy When You Can Suffer.
Whoever said that didn’t know what he was talking about.